It's been 14 years since my 9 year old cousin was killed in New Orleans. My cousin was walking across the street from a convenient store with his friends and a young 17 year old teen ran the red light hitting Jonathan. The first hit was on his hip which caused
him to be thrown into the air and the second hit which knocked him to the ground hitting his head, causing brain damage. He was on life support but by a hard decision he was taken off. Jonathan (John-John) was born on 03/17/1985 and was killed 01/19/1995. There was a lot of issues that happened the night when we found out about his death. My two sisters and I lived in Texas at the time with my Moma at my step dads house. Also my Uncle and his family lived down the road from us. Everyone else lived here in Louisiana. We did not have a phone at the time and did not get the message of John until after 9 at night. My uncle came by to give us the news. So my Moma left with my uncle to use a payphone to make calls to find out what happened and to make arrangements to leave for Louisiana. In the mean time my step dad was drunk and passed out. He awoke from hearing me crying in kitchen. My older sister went to the bathroom just as he woke up. He started questioning my tears and could not understand the news we just found out. 
Just as he was going to hit me my sister came in and got in the middle. Causing them to get into a fist fight. The night went horribly bad. My Moma came home in the middle of the fight and tried to stop it, with no luck. My step dad ended up in jail until he sobered up and my sister got kicked out. I will never forget her reading a poem at John's funeral with bruises and scratches on her arms and body from the fight. My sister was 17 at the time and was my protector. I was 14 and my little sister was about to turn 11. Due to the horrible night my older sister was no longer allowed to live with us. So the trip to Louisiana was not only to attend the funeral but to leave behind my sister. It was really hard to handle and I carried that burden for years thinking "if I wasn't in the kitchen crying he would have not heard me and woke up and my sister would still be here in Texas". However, I also would think that because of that night "she no longer had to put up with the life she had to live there in Texas". My step dad since has stopped drinking and now is doing way better. The way I wish it would have been when I lived there. I am so proud that he has changed. As far as my older sister and I, we take the life that we use to live and embedded in our mind that we want the best for our children. Breaking that circle. To no longer carry the memories of how it use to be. To live in the present day and look forward to the future. I have learned to say that my life began when I became wife and mother. That my past memories where in the past behind me. It took a long time to forgive my past, and I try not to think about it. But like an old co-worker of mine always said "Kristina has the mind of an elephant". I remember a lot of things wishing sometimes I didn't. I remember so much just as if it just happened. So to end this blog I want to say I love and miss you John-John I will always remember such a great, lovable, caring cousin you where. Below is the poem my sister read.
him to be thrown into the air and the second hit which knocked him to the ground hitting his head, causing brain damage. He was on life support but by a hard decision he was taken off. Jonathan (John-John) was born on 03/17/1985 and was killed 01/19/1995. There was a lot of issues that happened the night when we found out about his death. My two sisters and I lived in Texas at the time with my Moma at my step dads house. Also my Uncle and his family lived down the road from us. Everyone else lived here in Louisiana. We did not have a phone at the time and did not get the message of John until after 9 at night. My uncle came by to give us the news. So my Moma left with my uncle to use a payphone to make calls to find out what happened and to make arrangements to leave for Louisiana. In the mean time my step dad was drunk and passed out. He awoke from hearing me crying in kitchen. My older sister went to the bathroom just as he woke up. He started questioning my tears and could not understand the news we just found out. 
Just as he was going to hit me my sister came in and got in the middle. Causing them to get into a fist fight. The night went horribly bad. My Moma came home in the middle of the fight and tried to stop it, with no luck. My step dad ended up in jail until he sobered up and my sister got kicked out. I will never forget her reading a poem at John's funeral with bruises and scratches on her arms and body from the fight. My sister was 17 at the time and was my protector. I was 14 and my little sister was about to turn 11. Due to the horrible night my older sister was no longer allowed to live with us. So the trip to Louisiana was not only to attend the funeral but to leave behind my sister. It was really hard to handle and I carried that burden for years thinking "if I wasn't in the kitchen crying he would have not heard me and woke up and my sister would still be here in Texas". However, I also would think that because of that night "she no longer had to put up with the life she had to live there in Texas". My step dad since has stopped drinking and now is doing way better. The way I wish it would have been when I lived there. I am so proud that he has changed. As far as my older sister and I, we take the life that we use to live and embedded in our mind that we want the best for our children. Breaking that circle. To no longer carry the memories of how it use to be. To live in the present day and look forward to the future. I have learned to say that my life began when I became wife and mother. That my past memories where in the past behind me. It took a long time to forgive my past, and I try not to think about it. But like an old co-worker of mine always said "Kristina has the mind of an elephant". I remember a lot of things wishing sometimes I didn't. I remember so much just as if it just happened. So to end this blog I want to say I love and miss you John-John I will always remember such a great, lovable, caring cousin you where. Below is the poem my sister read.I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glitz on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.
Author Unknown
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